Crying is not an emergency

Tackle overwork by recognising overwhelm

It’s that time of year when things can feel a little out of hand. The year has yet to properly wake up. It’s a time of dark mornings, perpetual dampness, incessant colds. The optimism of New Year freshness and gym memberships offers stark contrast.

It can be frustrating to embrace the spring energy when our bodies are still being given hibernation signals. How to best manage, particularly when the emotion exaggerates the clash between what we need and what is expected. The key is to distinguish between real life facts, and our thinking about them. Let me explain…

A common emotion at this time of year is overwhelm. There is too much to do, not enough time and energy in which to do it in, and it all feels a bit too much. This – for me at least – often leads to either procrastination or burn out… take your pick!

Let’s take a step back a bit and pull out a distinction between overwhelm (that horrible feeling which exists inside our heads) and overwork (too much to do to fit into the time available).

The latter – overwork – is a simple maths problem. Here’s an example:

I have 10 hours of work to do including 3 time sensitive performance reviews; 6 overdue Christmas thank you cards to write, and an online supermarket shop. There’s only 8 hours until I pick up the kids.

However I might feel about it, there’s no way I can do all of these things in 8 hours.

Like an icy cold flannel, this plain fact can sometimes be enough to wake us out of our emotional turmoil. Then it’s a ‘simple’ (albeit not necessarily easy) matter of deciding what to do, ditch, defer, delegate, and in what order.

If the overwhelm, panic, exhaustion et al is not going to be tamed by a mental icy flannel, then the trick is to sit with it for a bit. Even when it feels like THE LAST THING I SHOULD BE SPENDING MY PRECIOUS TIME DOING – HAVE YOU SEEN MY TASK LIST ?! – getting some clarity about the state of our turmoiled mind will allow us to make better decisions.

It’s a bit like a carrying an overladen tray of drinks across a crowded bar. It’s best to take a moment first to recognise one might be a tad inebriated. Our path, and any course correction, might be more considered as a result.

And why isn’t crying an emergency? Well, once we’ve spotted the distinction between material reality (overwork) and our emotion (overwhelm) we can be less frightened of our feelings. They are natural human reactions that will pass in time.

Having a big sob (or angry rant) about the days ahead doesn’t need to be cause for concern. It’s perfectly natural and if we give it a simple nod, as it passes over (rather than getting embroiled in the whys and wherefores of it), it will dissipate more swiftly (and take less of our mental bandwidth with it).

It’s not an emergency, and does not need to be treated as such. It’s normal.

When you next notice yourself in a spiral of overwhelm, take a moment (30 seconds will do). Sit up straight, feel the floor pushing up against your feet and take 3 deep breaths. Pull your belly button into your lower back with each exhale. Pause at the top of each inhale. It’s the reset button that will remind us the feeling will pass, and the reality will look better once it does.

Let us know how you get on. Drop us a line on tania@twcreativecoaching.com or comment below. We'd love to hear from you.

Posted on Thu, January 30, 2025 in Coaching General Leadership Personal Development
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